21st October 2008

I managed to run out of tablets. Anti-depressants, the kind that balance out the chemicals in your brain. The kind that say on them do not stop taking this medication suddenly. I ran out, last week. I knew I was getting low so in the last two weeks I’ve taken 3. The last couple of days have not been fun. The side effects are described on the Internet as ‘an electric shock feeling’. Its a pretty accurate description, although the feeling isn't paid, but like a tide washing through your brain. Thinking straight is hard, I’ve found it really dificult to hold on to and follow a train of thought.

Today I went to get my prescription. On the way someone called me, I got my phone out of my bag and dropped it, looked down like an idiot and hit the car in front of me. Thankfully we were approaching a round a bout and I was breaking so going about 5 mph. The three-year-old said 'Oh mummy why did you bump that car?'

It was an old guy in a very old BMW. I got out of the car, apologised, and realised he had a tow-bar. Bugger. So thankfully no insurance claim, no damage to his car – however I now have a smashed number plate and a damaged bumper. And a car that needs an MOT in 8 days. Great.
On the plus side I now have the stupid tablets and have taken them and after sleeping for 2 hours this afternoon am beginning to remember what feeling normal is like.

Husband thinks I should sell the car and not have one. I have tried to explain that being pregnant, with two children under 4 and not having a car is actually my idea of hell and will cause me to have a nervous breakdown. Where would I be if I couldn’t drive round randomly to send the kids to sleep when they’re crazing me!